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Say More with Less: Concise Writing

In Patrick DeWitt's novel The Librarianist, this small, third-person point of view snippet of conversation illustrates the value of spare language.


"Jill says she's worried you're depressed."


"I'm not depressed at all."


"You don't seem depressed. I think Jill is depressed."


"I think Jill is depression." When Bob made Maria laugh, he felt proud. Maria couldn't speak to the others like this, and Bob understood and appreciated he was one apart.


DeWitt didn't tell us that Maria laughed by writing "Maria laughed at Bob's response." Nor did he bore us with "Maria said...Bob said...Maria said...Bob said." Instead, the image of laughter springs organically, as it would if we overhead a real-life conversation, and the speakers are clear from context. As an added bonus, readers gain insight into Bob's emotions and the characters' relationship, all in one fell swoop.


A fantastic model for all of us who overwrite, like the author of this gas pump sign:


Sign says: Please Prepay in Advance


As opposed to prepaying afterwards?


Edit out the obvious. Trust your reader to think.




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